What You Should Know About Forums and Were Afraid to Ask
What you should know about forums but were afraid to ask. What's a forum got to do with it....anyway? Well, plenty actually and not in a good way. When we think about Goldendoodle forums, we should be able to think about a place where one can make doodle friends...share goldendoodle stories with a nice approach..share photos and basically, share common canine information that would be of help to new doodle owners. A forum is also suppose to be a place to meet other doodle owners or others who share similar interests. On the surface, many are just that. However, the reality is, many forums have disturbing motives behind the facade of being a nice place to visit. Many are covered with a smoke screen and many people visit dog forums as a means of possibly finding somewhere to purchase a Goldendoodle or to obtain information about a Goldendoodle, but do not even realize they are being conned by the forum owner/operator and their diehard groupie members , even when it is right before their eyes!
It seems to be a part of human nature to tear another down. In our electronic world where so much content can reach millions in a single day, malicious persons feel empowered through their words whether true or not. People with ulterior motives to seek revenge against another use forums as a way to soothe their media seeking cravings. Many unsuspecting visitors of dog forums do not even realize it when they are duped and conned by these cyber bully, verbal criminals. When dissecting the reality of some Goldendoodle forums, there is a bottom line and that is the almighty dollar. There are two such Goldendoodle forum owner/operators who use their forum in this manner and one of them has been doing it for years...the other one has learned how to master the same game because she, herself, was targeted in the beginning by the other forum owner/operator and has learned how to play the same game by now doing the same thing to others as was done to her. Sad that people stoop to new lows in order to make a profit and a paycheck....but, stoop....they do.
It is always the case that when a business or person begins to grow and becomes successful , there seems to always be more and more people jumping on a bandwagon who feel they are entitled to take that person or business down. Some competitors become uneasy when they believe another has "moved into" their terrirory. As a business grows, they must think of themselves as a "celebrity". This is because they will now be the target for gossip, rumors and many mythical stories that while hyped up and interesting on a national enquiry level, have no merit of truth to them. Such businesses or persons must just learn to "deal with it". Or do they? Before we attempt to find out what's behind the truth at such malicious abuse, you should know that there are newly enacted laws that can and will protect the one being abused over the internet by malicious persons. It was once the belief that cyber bullies could pretty much say and do whatever they wanted inside of forums towards their targeted victim, but times have changed. New laws have been enacted to protect people from malicious persons with ill intent, inside of dog forums or any forum for that matter. This includes building fake websites that causes harm to another in a malicious, slanderous way.
Some believe they can't do anything about being targeted inside of forums, but think again. One recent example was when a jilted lover went to new levels when she decided the best way to get back at her ex-boyfriend was to create fake pages and advertisements all over the internet making claims he was seeking love in all the wrong places. She also wrote false information about his wife making up horrendous stories and spent countless hours posting the content on as many sites as she could! To my surprise, this story seemed very similar to what my very own sister did to me in 2006. As it happens, this womans' ex-lover had been her ex for over ten years! But this person still harbored resentment and anger! When phone calls began to pour into their home from women all around the world about his supposesd interest in a pleasurable romp (His ex listed his home address and phone number for people to call, on all sorts of fake websites she built just for him), police were called and the couple turned to an attorney for help with the matter. They were able (Through the help of tracking down the culprits' IP address and verifying it came from HER computer) to have the woman charged with secondary harassment and a breach of peace. I found this news delightful to my ears! The story was reported on CNN. I didn't find the story delightul because the woman went to such extremes at ruining someone she had ill will towards, rather I was delighted that Finally, someone who harbored so much hatred towards another person and has done such a terrible thing on the internet to cause massive ruin of a reputation is getting what they deserved! Jail time! Many people believed and possibly still believe that they can hide behind their computers to spew whatever malicious, hateful words they want towards another person over the internet and never get caught! It seems easy enough if you are such a demented type of person who has no life outside of the internet! But times are changing! This type of abuse is making headlines and grabbing the attention of many and people, like myself relish new laws to help protect the innocent!
Thankfully! When I heard about this woman getting charged for being abusive towards another person over the internet in such a horrendous way, it gave me great hope! I for one have been the target of such abuse for years by spiteful, hateful people inside of dog forums who felt the need to create hyped up stories that had no merit, posting lies and ridiculous stories as a means of ruining my reputation and business. Much of it condoned by dog forum owners that are breeders themselves trying to sell their own dogs and being vendictive or jealous due to the rise in competition; other forums allowed vicious postings that slandered us over the years or allowed malicious, slanderous content to be posted by fictitious persons and those sites were either NOT properly moderated or were sites that doodle forum owners charge breeders to advertise on their site and by the site owner/forum operator allowing such nonsense to be posted about their competition (breeders who didn't advertise and pay them for such) on their forum, it kept money coming in to their own pockets. How did this happen?
Unsuspecting and unwitting potential buyers would buy their dogs from the breeders that paid the forum owner/operator to advertise on their site and the forum/operator deliberately allowed bashings on their forum that specifically targeted supposed "problematic" breeders (including blocking IP addresses of anyone who came to the bashed breeders' defense or by blocking the IP address of the targeted breeder themselves) to continue because it created a facade of supposed issues the problematic breeder had with their supposed potential customers or past customers. This would then cause unsuspecting potential buyers to bypass those targeted breeders and purchase from the breeders the forum owner/operator claimed were "Top quality" breeders when in fact, they were and are merely breeders who pay the forum site owner/operator to advertise! Many breeders pay to advertise on websites that get alot of internet traffic and they pay through the nose for such listings. We quit wasting our money years ago with this sort of advertisement because we got tired of such site owners getting rich off of our hard work. Quality is nothing more than a personal opinion or in this case, how much you are willing to pay the site owner for advertising! While disturbing in more ways than one, most people don't take the time to find out whether malicious posted information is true or not. They take the information at face value and believe what they read as "gospel" when it comes to forums. For the life of me, I don't know why...but they do.
Prior to 2006, we took the brunt of abuse by such forum owners/operators and their groupies who hang out and clan together inside of their forums. We let much of it ride because we knew then and still know now what the truth is and there is no merit to anything posted inside of forums harboring such malicious content. We did send letters to those sites telling them to cease the harassment and to remove the content. Some complied while others pushed the envelope. Over the years, both my husband and I became a target of such slanderous, vicious postings and endured alot of harassment from an estranged family members, who to this day, boldly create fake, abusive websites...company names...user names, etc...just to create smear campaign towards our personal name and business name. Some of the material had been posted for up to a year before we had even discovered it!!! They have gone into hundreds of forums as well as posting their slanderous comments on my articles and business sites, pretending to be various people, using various faked email addresses and fake user names making up slanderous accusations towards us as a person and towards our business. To my surprise, many people inside of the forums actually believe what they write because they do not know that these postings are merely untruthful accusations by my estranged family members! I have been printing out the comments as they are discovered and I have located one family members' IP address of which has been forwarded to an attorney general's office.
People who go to such great lengths to destroy a person's reputation or business and enjoy what they are doing surely have emotional and mental issues. Such malicious content is verbal vandalism. Many celebrities just brush off such nonsense but when the author of such content goes to the extreme of methodically and deliberately ruining someones' business or reputation, something has to be done to put an end to it. That is where the newly enacted laws comes to play.
For years, I've witnessed female entrepreneurs truly succeed (including myself) and watched as others began to pick them apart; criticize them and sometimes trash them all across dog forums to include writing letters to site owners who sell advertisements to breeders around the world, even when the person who was doing all the trashing and criticizing didn't really know them at all on a personal level....sometimes not even really on a business level. Have you noticed that too? Ironically enough, it is nine times out of ten other women who are doing the criticizing. Instead of supporting each other not only because they are women who are trying to succeed in this sometimes hateful, difficult world, they do their very best at tearing each other down.
As much as I had to admit, I've partaken in that sometimes too, but never on the levels that I have seen that has been taken towards me! Much of my own venting has been at trying to defend myself on the internet "kangaroo court" held by nitwits and wackos inside of dog forums and until I recently discovered that people actually CAN BE held legally accountable for what they do or say about others on the internet, I felt I had no other recourse but to try and defend myself from these nutty forum people by writing about it.
But now that times are changing and new laws are taking place, every site that harbors such malicious content can now be held legally accountable and can not only be sued by the person they are harboring information about, but can find themselves being legally charged with second degree harassment and a breach of peace if it can be shown that the site owner deliberately and willfully harbored such slanderous, malicious content without verifying its authenticity before allowing it to remain on their forum for viewing by the general public. Especially content that harbors malicious material that holds the person's name and address and phone number or other personal information in a slanderous manner. This is a very good thing for many people across the internet who is going through similar situations. I personally first attempt at calling the site owner and asking them to remove the content. Secondly, send them a certified letter and if necessary, have your attorney send them the letter via certified mail. Thirdly, through legal channels if you are not successful in contacting their IP server. I personally filed complaints with their IP servers...their host site servers and if that didn't work, then of course they have get a personal visit. Now that there are laws to protect a person and business from being maliciously targeted by cowardly, vindictive people, charges can be brought up against those who are so abusive over the internet, once caught! I recommend printing everything you find so that you have evidence before you have it removed from the website, once it is found or discovered. If it's email, then make sure you print out the header information that shows their IP address. Sometimes people can change their IP address but sometimes they can't. Having supporting evidence is very important. In my sisters' case, she changed the email content that satisfied her agenda when I replied to her to stop what she was doing. Instead, she kept the heading of my email and then typed her own words and claimed I wrote them. Because email can be modified and rewritten by the person who claims they received this type of email, this sort of internet evidence doesn't hold much weight. However, when you can print what has been posted inside of a forum, it has the time and date of when it was posted and if the site owner is legally challenged, they have to produce the IP address of the person who posted the derogatory, slanderous information. This is how the "poster" is identified even if they fake a user name and fake an email address. Most IP addresses remain the same.
I'm very aware of the fact some forum owners "archive" malicious content and then they bury it deep inside of their forum as if the content is now hidden inside of a deep, dark, mysterious cave and they then tell others to "email" them for the links of they are interested in learning about their dirty little secrets (webs of lies and lies) ...but we're catching on to this little game as well. Little are they aware of how many people we have incorporated over time, acting as little gobblins requesting their dirty little secrets.....which is how we have come to know about it and are now writing about it. The dirty games played by vindictive people who have an ulterior motive can be very dark and the lows of which people will stoop at destroying another persons' reputation and business never cease to amaze me. But the fact is, its very real and I think now that it has been happening to so many people over the internet that now people can actually do something about it, pleases me to no end!
If people are criticizing you as a person or a business over the internet, it's almost never about you or the business. It's really all about them. The person writing the insulting content. They felt scorned or hurt or "wronged" and so now they are going to "wrong" YOU, the person or the business. Some want you to pay dearly for it! When a person or business put themselves out there in a BIG way on the internet, just realize there WILL be a backlash from those who are jealous, envious, spiteful or who believe they in some way have been "wronged" by you. I believe it threatens or intimidates people when you as a person or business have the courage to stand out a little bit more than your competitors.
Cyber bullies are always in love with their "amazing accomplishments". Cyber bullies are incapable of sustaining relationships with others outside the internet, so its of upmost importance they establish friendships inside of forums where they can have shallow friendships even if briefly.
If you are being attacked by a cyberbully inside of a forum, there are things you can do to help yourself and your sanity. It's very frustrating being attacked by people who can create fake email addresses, user names and personal names and use their pen to cause personal harm. It is more frustrating because it's hard to take immediate action against these persons.
The solution for getting over the fear of criticism from becoming larger in business or by becoming well known over the internet, is to come from a place of compassion and purpose. Compassion because I believe that deep down, people who go inside of dog forums and write content that is malicious and that is written to cause harm to the targeted person they are writing about, are really writing the content because they have stuff going on inside of their own lives that they feel is over-whelming or its something they can't control. By writing and targeting someone else inside of a dog forum, they are able to generate a feeling of sympathy by people who don't know them and by people who are not aware that the content they have written is completely not true! That their content is just a facade of lies upon lies. Their own feelings of inadequacy or jealousy or emotional issues that they have not been able to resolve all come into play. So really, the people who go into forums seeking such shallow sympathy are very sad people, indeed.
Their personal issues are not your problem or your issues, so ignore them if you can and with compassion, especially if you've been there too at one point. And Purpose. When you stay focused on the purpose for your business (helping OTHERS), then anything else becomes secondary, even if it hurts sometimes. Trust me, when I found out my very own sister was going into dog forums as well as other places and writing nothing but lies upon lies about me, my family and my business, I was dumbfounded! I had not personally seen her since 1996! I had not personally spoken to her in person since 1999 and suddenly in 2006 I find out she has been spreading malicious lies like a fire out of control, one after the other about me and going to the extreme of extremes by posting fake websites using my name, my phone number, stealing photos from my personal website of not only me but my dogs.....going into an ancestry forum and writing malicious content about our family and the list goes on...yes, it hurt me! It hurt my business as well. People out there don't know the content they've read and posted by another is nothing but lies and it hurt me on a personal level because she is, even if estranged from the family, my own sister. But you have to remember that your personal success as a person can't be removed by malicious postings. None of what my sister said took away from all the merit badges, the awards and my success achieved through out my life! None of what my sister said took away from the fact that over the years, I've built up a very large list of happy consumers since 1996 and none of what someone claims inside of a forum can take that fact away. My business has been built from a life long list of skills, sweat and hard manual labor! My business has been built from my own personal knowledge. Those are things, that no matter what someone says with words, can take away. You have to remember that angry words can't actually remove all of the skills and knowledge you have come to know and learn. They are, after all, just angry words. My business which has served the general public since 1996 in a very successful way continues to grow because of my own determination to succeed and because I am doing something that I firmly believe in. My expertise has helped hundreds of thousands of people across the internet and my web site host has the tracking numbers to prove it! My personal knowledge and my expertise in my field has served the general public since 1996 for free even though I myself pay for my website out of my own pocket. By my serving others, not by hurting others, allows ME and my business to shine even through the darkest paths some people desire to put in my way.
In a battle between fear of criticism and of helping others, inner courage to continue to succeed even when it seems the odds are against you, will take anyone through the fear and into the path of doing the right thing, despite what snippy people will say inside of dog forums or anywhere else for that matter. Some people are just plain bad and those people need to be hit back when they hit you. Somebody has to hit bad people back and this takes the courage to do so. I don't mean this in a literal sense of hitting. If someone takes verbal swipes at another person as a deliberate attempt at trying to ruin them as a person or as a business, the targeted person has to have the courage and inner strength to hit them back. I'm not afraid to hit back. I don't appreciate being verbally hit by bad people nor will I stand by being verbally attacked by bad people who enjoy writing lie after lie as a means of revenge for something they feel I've done to them or they seem to enjoy writing fictitious information that doesn't even describe me in any way shape or form, which by the way, has been blown so out of proportion that I'm still waiting for BIG FOOT to appear or an alien ship to land in my front yard! I'm all about being positive and helping others, not taking them down or taking swipes at people who really deserve swipes, but I'm also not going to stand by and watch nasty people take untrue pot shots at me or the business I've worked for 11+ years building nor do I think anyone should stand by allowing bad people to do horrible things to them whether in person or on the internet. Courage and strength is a must to fight these sort of terrible people back. A person will always be successful if you love what you do and as Donald Trump said in his book, you have to have knowledge to succeed in something you love to do. If you don't love what you do, you won't take the time to acquire the knowledge it takes to succeed. I didn't just wake up one day and think that breeding dogs would be interesting. All of my life I have had a huge heart for animals. All of my book reports in grade school was about dogs and cats. In the 5th grade (and I still have what I wrote that my mother saved for me all these years) I wrote an essay about living on a farm and owning multiple animals and raising them and taking care of them. I wrote, as a fifth grader, what I thought my life was going to be as an adult, and I wrote that I would be completely surrounded by animals. What I do has been a life long inner part of me. I didn't jump on any bandwagon. I didn't follow in anyone's footsteps. My personal page at http://www.goldendoodleworld.com is all about what I have spent years researching, doing, learning and understanding. Bad people will always want to try to take away what someone else has no matter what their reasoning is because bad people DON'T reason. They don't function on an intelligent level nor do they achieve much in their life. Inner hatred has a way of tearing a person apart. Inner hatred has a way of preventing people from moving forward in life in a positive or successful way. My sister and people like her who spend all of their time tearing others apart inside of dog forums or any forum for that matter, are bad people. The bottom line is, the crummy people will go and the the yummy people will stay. That's all that matters. As Dr. Seuss once said: "Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind.
Dee Gerrish has been a private, professional breeder for 12 years as of 2008; She was a respite and foster care provider in Mannheim, Germany and won many community awards for her dedicated service. Dee has written very popular Goldendoodle articles that are listed across the internet.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com